In the cozy embrace of a quaint café, where fragrant brews swirled from porcelain cups, I embarked on what I assumed would be a pleasant afternoon of tea and conversation with two male friends. Little did I know, this meeting would serve as a striking tableau, revealing the deep-seated reluctance of some men to engage in conversations about women’s rights.

As we settled into our seats, one of my companions abruptly launched into a tirade on the Spanish national women’s football team and their principled refusal to play. «I don’t want to talk about this, but I…» he began, his voice resounding with a fervent intensity. His opinion poured forth, like an overflowing river of conviction, drowning out any potential for dialogue.

But this was no dialogue; it was a monologue of privilege, where my voice was relegated to mere silence. He wasn’t interested in hearing a response; he had spoken his piece, and that was to be the end of it. The subject matter swiftly shifted, leaving my thoughts unsung and unaddressed.

However, as I returned home, the embers of that unresolved conversation smoldered within me. Why did some men react with such hostility to women’s acts of protest? It occurred to me that perhaps they were fortunate we didn’t mirror their aggressive defensiveness, for, in such a world, conflict would reign supreme.

The truth is, men often find it easier to launch verbal or even physical attacks against women who dare to speak out, rather than confront the disconcerting realities of gender inequality. It is daunting for us, women, to share our experiences, but men reflecting on their own complicity in perpetuating gender-based discrimination is too much for them to cope with.

Contemplating whether they’ve exploited their power, advanced primarily due to privilege rather than merit, overstepped boundaries unknowingly due to social conditioning, or harbored sexist beliefs is, for many, a perilous journey into the depths of self-awareness. It is far simpler for them to clutch to a narrative that labels feminists as ugly unsatisfied tyrants or «feminazis» – caricatures of extremists blinded by sexual frustration.

But let’s not divert our gaze from the glaring data. Let’s not ignore the heart-wrenching accounts of women who have been harassed, abused, and/or killed by men across the globe. We must face the grim reality that the majority of violent crimes are committed by men. It is not a matter of exceptions; it is a matter of overwhelming statistics.

Yet, when confronted with this data, some will cling to minor exceptions as if they held greater weight than the vast majority. They will attempt to paint the picture of a balanced world where six is somehow greater than ninety-four. This intellectual gymnastics obscures the stark disparities that persist.

I call upon all men to resist the allure of defensiveness and instead, actively listen with an open heart and an open mind. Acknowledge that dismantling patriarchy is not an affront to masculinity but a call for a more equitable world. The time has come for steaming cups of change, brewed in dialogue, empathy, and understanding. It is a conversation worth having, for the sake of us all.